Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Whispers of a conscience somewhere else.

The world I've rejoined here in Canada, is amazing but I'm finding a large portion of my heart and head in the arms of the most beautiful people that my road has taken me to, these people know who they are. Music brings back the memories, the feelings of joy, happiness, excitement, and their counterparts, the world I created in my time roaming the coastal breezes searching for waves and smiling with the greatest firends.

I feel myself missing people and a lifestyle, more than ever before. I've now been on the road for 1,174 days. This is the first time I've felt detached from something truly dear to me. 

There are times, sitting at the base of a mountain looking at the open sky; I feel soo small, soo far away from everything, everyone. Is the life of a traveller a life of solitude? Must I find my company in the wind, granite walls and a crackling fire? These questions go unanswered, drowned out by the silence. My Guitar on my lap, I'll pick it up to play louder, maybe , just maybe somebody out there will hear me and be some kind of company, we could tell stories by this fire. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said Do not go where the path may leadgo instead where there is no path and leave a trail”. I've gone where there is no path, I've found a place where I can be completely myself, but what I've come to realise is myself is also found amongst those closest to me; this night will pass like the last, unshared. Was Christopher McCandless right when he said "Happiness is only real when shared"? Maybe one day my footprints will cross that of another, someone else carving a path of their own. For now I'll settle for being content with the Howl of a wolf, because no sound is dissonant which tells of life.

-I once wrote a letter to myself, I was young, like 12 or 13. I can still remember what that unopened letter said word for word. It read: "Dear Tyler if you find yourself reading this letter, sitting behind the desk in an office, working for someone who's eyes are closed, jump out the window and find yourself again, because you've lost...yourself."

Tomorrow is another day.